Martins secret

Here is the transcript of my latest podcast. If you prefer a spoken word and don’t mind my thick accent, you can find it here Episode 9. Transgender rats, UK riots, Nutella and Homer Simpson (castos.com)   Hello beautiful people, and welcome to the world of Gemini. If this is the first time you’re listening …

Five hours of arguing with this bloody ‘ChatGPT’ AI. I give up. I tried to be clever. I tried irony. I tried sarcasm. I tried to be offensive. I used language from my army days, I used Gypsy insults, I remembered how to call someone a moron in Georgian, Moldavian and Ukrainian. All in vain. …

This is an automated transcript from the podcast I uploaded 10 min ago. If you prefer a spoken word, the podcast can be found here – World According to GEMINI: Episode 8. ‘No Crows’ on tour’. on Apple Podcasts or here: Episode 8. ‘No Crows’ on tour’. (castos.com) This episode was recorded during our recent …

Why do we have mental issues and my rat Gerome doesn’t? Food for the Mind and how to avoid mental constipation…..or diarrhoea, whatever your pick is. This is a transcript of the podcast which  you can find here: Episode 6. ‘Food for the Mind’ – World According to GEMINI | Podcast on Spotify  (More mistakes, …

(This is a transcript of the podcast with the same name which you can find on all major podcast platforms. If you prefer to read, stay here 🙂 ) There are two parts in this podcast. First – a few tips and tricks on how to interact with this endangered group of species which are …

Hello everyone, and welcome to the ‘World According to Gemini’. (This is a transcript from my podcast which will be available in all major platforms in exactly 10 hours :-)) We just came back from the two weeks tour with ‘No Crows’. 12 Gigs in Spain, Germany and Switzerland. Obviously, when you are touring, one …

One week after the riot and I am still getting grief from the council estate mamas in their designer runners. My podcast server kindly offered to transcribe my podcasts, so I decided to put it here in case you don’t like the spoken word or can’t understand my accent 🙂 Hello and welcome to the …

What would happen if I ate my English teacher 40 years ago? 

In this episode we are going to talk about the horrors and misconceptions of the modern diet madness, guilt tripping, German motorbikes and African tribe leaders.

The new podcast episode 4 is here ….. enjoy

https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/world-according-to-gemini/id1714439985?i=1000636721961

PS. Let me know if you prefer the written word – my podcast service offered to transcribe my episodes, so I can put it here if you wish..

Switzerland, Zurich, Hauptbahnhof. Three hours to kill. 6 Euros for a single espresso.

Felip, ‘Oleg…..Go!!! Now!’.

Me, ‘What? Where? Why?’.

Felip, ‘The more you walk, the less you spend…’.

Can’t argue with that, really. We are back from the No Crows tour and yes, the Swizz podcast is nearly ready but for now here’s the one I recorded before the tour..

https://world-according-to-gemini.castos.com/episodes/you-stole-my-kidney-baby

So. Eddie finally had enough of me yapping in the car so he suggested something to shut me up.

He said, ‘Why don’t you start a podcast..?’

And so I did. Here’s the link – World According to GEMINI (castos.com)

World According to GEMINI on Apple Podcasts

So far 2 episodes are up, mistakes and all.

Eddie is happy.

I have good news for the saxophonists of all styles, ages, genders and skill levels. Finally you might have something meaningful to do in your lives. You can start legally earning a decent living by playing Jazz without being called names by other, real musicians. I know it’s hard to believe, but it is true …

Good evening, everyone… Our lives are full of unpredictable events which oftentimes lead us to something which goes far beyond our everyday trivia. In this case, a series of dramatic events led to a discovery of sorts, which I am going to present you in this article – a revolutionary technique for female vocalists wishing …

This article is dedicated to all my Jazz students. Part One. Introduction. ‘Are you on the train?’. ‘Yes’. ‘Are you on the right train?’. ‘Yes’. ‘Are you sure?’. ‘Yes, I am sure’. ‘What does it say on the train?’. ‘Sligo….. I think’. ‘You think???’. ‘Let me see…Yes, it says ‘Sligo’. ‘Ok, fingers crossed, buddy. See …

So, you’ve decided to become a career musician and spend the rest of your life touring around the world. Congratulations! Life on the road, what a rush! Exotic countries, business class travel, five star hotels, fame, glory, flowers, champagne, masseuses, limos, TV interviews and countless fans trying to nick your underwear. Also, don’t forget the …

The life in Drumcondra can be exciting…a Chinese dude across the road gets out to call his mom while wearing pyjamas and having his iPhone taped to his head, Mary – the local busybody who insists on providing everyone with the latest on the world affairs, politics, sports and whatever she can squeeze into those 5 minutes while I’m having my espresso, our Russian neighbours having their hilarious arguments, still thinking that no one can understand what they are saying to each other, a little Robin who tries to get into our kitchen every time I open my door, a very shy and well-mannered rat who sits outside waiting for a conversation and a bit of bread.

Not all is cute though…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=778qNL4OWXQ

The rest of the videos and articles can be found here

https://www.patreon.com/OlegPonomarev

 

 

All was going well as I was going home to record my next ‘Point of Being’ video.

I opened the door and ..

There was a session and there was a dish of prawn to be made and there was this nuclear chilli sauce which Nick got from some obscure shop hidden in the Drumcondra jungle, so eventually I forgot everything I wanted to say, except of the story about Sigmund Freud. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyDDN_DCRnw

Join me for the rest of the videos here:

https://www.patreon.com/OlegPonomarev

And here’s something else.

 

2. ‘The point of being’. Attention Span. | Ponomarev Oleg. A violin world according to Gemini. on Patreon

Well, my dears. Here’s my first video of the ‘Point of Being’ series, which will eventually bring me to the South of France….or back to Siberia.

I was recording those videos in between my online lessons, trying to avoid train noises, dogs barking, my flatmates crashing down the stairs, switching on our washing machine or dishwasher, phone calls and other trivia.

I’d routinely notice that I’d forgotten to switch on my microphone or would get a message that my camera is low on storage, get an urgent text from one of the students or a phone call from my dear mother… It’s been an interesting time.

It did get in a way of my intellectualising, but I think I managed to keep on a track somehow.

You’ll be the judge.

Here’s a link to the introduction video:  ‘A World According to Gemini’. The point of being… – YouTube

The rest of the videos can be found here;    Ponomarev Oleg. A violin world according to Gemini. | Performance & technique videos, articles, Gemini blog. | Patreon

If you are a touring/performing musician, answer me this…..when was the last time you had a bottle of water in your dressing room with your name printed on the label? I played thousands of gigs in all sorts of venues all over the world and the best I had was my name written on the …

Hi everyone! First of all I want to thank you for your support during those strange years, filled with unpredictability and confusion. I published a little post on a Facebook recently, saying that I might consider moving to France, buying a house or two and…..well, I don’t really know what people do there, but I …

Yes, we are. In short, my darling NoCrows organised a gig in a Seamus Ennis arts Centre in Naul. A beautiful place, this. They understand what the most important factor in every creative event is. (Food) For the musicians, obviously. I decided in would be a great opportunity to showcase two of my violin students …

She came in fuming and she came in angry. She slammed the door shut and threw herself onto the couch. She pushed away her violin case, crossed her arms and made an attempt to look indignant. It meant only one thing – ‘Minuet and Trio’ by Schubert was not going to happen any time soon. …

‘Dear Sir!!! I hope your day is good, your health is strong and your parents are well. My name is Moussa Mohammad the 3rd.I have received an inheritance from my late father Prince Umar, who was brutally murdered by the treacherous Rebels and Criminals. At the moment, the sum of 7.570.322.687US dollars is being held …

After five months of demented work, recording, editing, re-recording, re-editing, losing videos, misplacing lectures, proof-reading, burying the whole project, giving up and starting again from the scratch, losing my mind but finally deciding to publish the whole thing…

Here it is. My baby, my ‘Blood, Sweat and Tears’ (of joy)

VIOLIN FOUNDATION ULTIMATE WORKSHOP

Spread the word….

‘Mister Oleg, why do you talk so much?’ – that’s from my youngest student Madeleine. She is from West Virginia, US and she is seven years old. ‘I’ll talk less if you practice more, ’ I replied and immediately got scolded by my Gemini twin, ‘Scoring points with the little girls now, are we? Well done, …

The Irish musical scene can be quite entertaining. I arrive to the venue to play a gig with the ‘Hot Club of Dublin’, park the car and see our bass extraordinaire John walking towards me…. ‘What’s the story, John. All set?’.  ‘Spoke to the manager. He told me to come back in October’…..??? It turned …

  ‘Bless the kindness of rapists and dignity of rats..’ ‘The Unwritten Song’ 1998 Bad people do bad things. Consequently, they are punished and sent to Hell. Good people do good things. They get rewarded and go to Heaven. That’s what we are taught by our betters. That’s what we see in movies and that’s …

I’m sure you heard about high yogis and Buddhist priests who transcended time, gravity and space after many lifetimes of spiritual work.. I was lucky to spend two years of my life in the organisation, which managed to master the full control over laws of physics and concepts of time, space, gravity etc. It was …

Someone wise said once that you shouldn’t study religion, philosophy or spiritual discipline without a teacher. It is so easy to misinterpret something or to take a step in a wrong direction while reading old books. You need someone to help you to understand not just ‘What?’, but ‘How?’, and most importantly, ‘Why?’. And it’s …

Meet my grandfather and meet my uncle. Bigger than life and a massive pain in my grandmother’s backside, both of them were. ‘Brains unchained’, one might say. They went through life like tsunami and there was no force in the universe which could slow them down, except of my granny perhaps. She would suffer through …

Now, that’s not a proper post…that’s a cry.

I was trying to explain to this little darling what happens when she plays out of tune. I tried everything, I tried to tell her how various frequencies affect our ears, bodies, emotions etc., I made a drawing, I demonstrated how to play in tune and how to play not in tune, I sang, I did a little dance, then I gave up. I gave her a ‘Snickers’ bar, and decided that I’m not a very successful teacher… Then her ‘mom’ kicked in and made everything very clear.

‘When she starts to practise, she sounds like a pregnant cat, baby Jesus starts to cry, and I just lock meself in a toilet and listen to Rihanna …..‘

I can’t teach anymore😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝

What do you think I do when I teach music?  I answer questions. Millions of questions. I try to stay alert as they come when you least expect it. I try to answer honestly and truthfully. As honestly as you can, answering something like this, ‘Oleg, why do birds poo but never pee…?’. Sometimes there …

One of them is the real deal….

Can you guess which one?

‘So, Oleg… are you going with us to the mountains tomorrow?’.. That’s Anna. The question mark at the end of the phrase is purely symbolical. If Anna asks the question – you go. That’s a given. The question itself is rhetorical. I try to chance it, ‘Anna you know, I am actually not feeling well’. …

Frankfurt, Germany, year 1993 or so.

Me (long hair, leather pants, limited English, absolutely no idea about…anything really). 

Frank (an expensive suit, perfect English, the manager of the major recording company). 

We are having coffee and discussing the contract for our first album. Frank is being infinitely patient. I’m trying to understand the difference between publishing/recording deals, copy/mechanical/performing rights etc. I am on my fifth espresso, but still nothing makes any sense. It’s all too complicated, and I don’t feel ok signing my life away without having a slightest idea what follows.

Frank gives up and says, ‘I’ll make it easy for you. In simple terms it works like this: You get famous, we get rich. Clear?’ 

I remember I started to laugh. I thought it was a joke.

Dedicated to all ‘Gnessin Musical College’ students of 1980’s. If any of you are still alive, that is. A million dollar question…..’What was the best time of your life?’. I suspect your mind will jump back to your school or college years.  Of course it will. Time affects our memories. Our brain is very selective, …

‘You are a dirty pile of human waste! You are a bunch of misfits, morons, criminals, hooligans, alcoholics and degenerates. Your mothers should be ashamed of you! You should be ashamed of yourself but you don’t have a shred of consciousness to be ashamed of anything. Army might still make people out of you, but …

I was born in the Soviet Union. For us, Ukraine was always an integral part of our common culture and history. Russians and Ukrainians, we are of the same blood and soul. Whatever politicians say, they can go to Hell. In my heart we are brothers. Now, a brainwashed generation on both sides is being …

I had this story sitting in my computer for a while. It’s way too long and too complicated, so I wasn’t sure if I should put it here. Also, last week I got a mail from someone I used to know a long time ago. Dude used to be a cello player, but now he’s …

Got a text from one of the mothers, ‘Going to be late for the lesson – stuck behind the bloody tractor’. I started to laugh. I thought, ‘Where else would you get that….! Only in Cavan’. I had a quick coffee and started to drive to the academy. After a while I stopped laughing as …

I just came home from the studio where we were recording an education video for our students. I made a speech. I thought it was fantastic. I liked myself. I liked how thorough, detailed and descriptive I was. I thought I looked very intellectual and I thought everyone is going to love it. Then Cian …

‘LPG’ Trio, Jazz festival, Limerick,  ‘LPG’ is Eddie Lee on the double bass, Fintan Gilligan on guitars/vocals (and being a smart ass), and me on the violin. We are playing for dedicated Limerick Jazz aficionados. The place is full, everyone is attentive, supportive and quiet, which is usually a good thing. Not in this case …

Here’s a part of the pre-wedding ritual which I find somewhat difficult to understand. It is called a ‘Stag/Hen party’ and it goes like this – you are saying ‘good-bye’ to your freedom. You do it by getting together with your mates, by drinking like there’s no tomorrow, by shouting a lot, by getting into …

A bit of drama, this. Our lovely Laura came to the kitchen. She looked upset. She said she got invited to attend her friend’s wedding. ‘There are worse things to go to’, I said. ‘You’ll survive’. ‘No’, she replied. ‘You don’t understand.. She wants me to be her BRIDESMAID!!!’.  I didn’t know what to say. …

Oslo, Norway. 1999 ‘Russian Gypsy trio LOYKO’- one guitar, two violins, three vocals, long hair and leather pants – fast, loud, overly dramatic and therefore highly successful. That’s us. We were sitting in a dressing room and arguing about the set list. Our stage manager just gave us a 5 minute call, so I grabbed …

Irish police. Unbeatable… Year 1991, Dublin. My first contact with Garda. I drive through the red light. There was no traffic and I thought it was safe. I’m flagged down by the grandfatherly figure in the uniform.  Garda – ‘What’s your hurry, son?’ Me, hurt by unfair allegations – ‘What is it. Officer??’ Garda – …