CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

Jade is one of my students. She is Chinese, she is 12 years old, she is full of joy, always smiling, homework is always done, one of my best students. Her mum Mia is mad. In a good way though. Her jokes can start a war, but I was born near China. I know where she’s coming from, so we get on very well.

Mia likes to sing along when Jade plays her scales…. It hurts.

I usually say – ‘Mia, please get out. Go and get me a double espresso, ok? But don’t run please. Go slow, very very slow’. She says – ‘Yes, teacher, good teacher’. Sounds like ‘Good doggie’ but I don’t mind. She is cool.

So after the lesson she gives me her usual – ‘Jade is good?’. I reply – ‘Jade is good, excellent, very hard worker, I am happy’.

Mia – (With the big smile) ‘Good, good, you say Jade is good, you say you happy, I say me happy, Jade not good, you not happy, me not happy, I KILL HER!!!!…’.

Me – ‘Ok, ok, no need to kill anyone, she’s really good, I’m happy. Go now.’

M – ‘Oh, teacher, good teacher, something good for you, good present, you have penis allergy?’

Me – ‘What ??????’

M – (Beaming) ‘No no, penis is good for you, good teacher, good penis..’

Jade comes to the rescue – (Pointing at something in her moms hand) ‘Peanuts!….Good for you!!!’